It is 10:04am as I make this journal entry.
Some background and context about this morning.
I woke up with a slight headache.
I stayed in bed as the 5am alarm went off. I’m usually out of bed way before then.
My morning coffee had roaches in it and I don’t have any more of my favorite creamer to make more.
When I walked into her bedroom, I found Mom sitting on her bed, covered with a blanket, with an expression of shame on her face and in her body language. Her diapers, pajamas, and bed linens were soiled.
I am still in my PJs and haven’t yet brushed my teeth….10:19am.
Re: Mom’s food for the week after it was delivered by her church.
My niece removed the covers from the food to sample it, let the dog into the house when it was supposed to be outside, and then went into her bedroom, shutting the door and leaving the dog alone with a table full of steaming food intended for her grandma for the week.
I have to cook today and for the week because the dog got on the dining room table Sunday and ate mom’s food. Or at least the meaty parts.
I want to be in the solitude of my mountain cabin back home in PA. But I can’t have that because mom would not do well in the cold or in the solitude that she hates but I love.
In speaking with God last night, I asked him, "How can I be in the place that I want, the place I find peace and call home and still have mom, alive, comfortable and happy?!"
Only He can find a way. While there are worse places and situations to be in, I don’t like Florida for the same reasons that most people love Florida.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to You today with gratitude and a few requests. I woke up with a headache and felt frustrated when my coffee had roaches and I was out of creamer. Help me accept these inconveniences with grace.
Please comfort and heal Mom, who was embarrassed and ashamed when I found her soiled and covering herself. Give me patience and love to care for her with Your tenderness.
Guide and provide for me as I cook for the week, replacing the food the dog ate. Help me see this as an opportunity to serve Mom with love.
I long for the solitude of my mountain cabin but know Mom needs me here. Help me find contentment and purpose in my current situation, balancing her needs with my desires.
Trusting in Your wisdom, I ask for joy and peace in our journey together.
In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.
If you’ve made it this far, I thank you for your time and attention, the two most valuable assets we have in this life, so it means more to me than I can express in mere words. 💙🤗 may your days be filled with blessings and peace.
To my current supporters, thank you for your early encouragement. Let’s keep creating together! Cheers to many more inspiring cups of fulfilling creations.
That is all and once again thank you for reading.
Shashue Monrauch